Nadege Souvenir:

Welcome everyone to I So Appreciate You!, a raw, funny, and uniquely insightful podcast about the issues and opportunities we all face as values-based leaders and humans. I'm Nadege.

Melanie Hoffert:

And I'm Melanie. We're colleagues at the Saint Paul & Minnesota Foundation, and we're friends. When we get together, our conversations can go anywhere, especially when bringing a friend or two along for the ride.

Nadege Souvenir:

So we're inviting you to join us and some incredible guest as we explore the challenges and triumphs of people shaking up our community for the better.

Welcome. I'm so excited about today's episode.

Melanie Hoffert:

Me too.

Nadege Souvenir:

Our guest today-

Melanie Hoffert:

Sheletta Brundidge.

Nadege Souvenir:

She is so great.

Melanie Hoffert:

She is.

Nadege Souvenir:

She's a mom, a community activist, an award-winning broadcaster, bestselling author, business owner. I could keep going, but-

Melanie Hoffert:

She has so much energy. So she's going to come in here and blow us away.

Nadege Souvenir:

I know.

Melanie Hoffert:

I just know it.

Nadege Souvenir:

I know. So we got to get ready.

Melanie Hoffert:

Oh, yes, we do.

Nadege Souvenir:

We got to get hyped up.

Melanie Hoffert:

We do.

Nadege Souvenir:

How do we do that?

Melanie Hoffert:

Well, because Sheletta Makes Me Laugh is her company or website, this morning something made me laugh, so I thought I'd bring it to the discussion.

Nadege Souvenir:

Okay.

Melanie Hoffert:

Because I'm also curious about what you think about this. So I was in bed reading, as I often do, and I came across the phrase hurkle-durkle. Do you know what that means? Or it could be called hurkle-durkling.

Nadege Souvenir:

Okay. It just sounds like a weird thing.

Melanie Hoffert:

I love it.

Nadege Souvenir:

I'm just going to be really honest.

Melanie Hoffert:

Hurkle-durkle, hurkle-durkle. Okay. It is a cozy morning loafing. It's a reference from an old Scottish phrase that really means spending idle time awake in bed. And I was thinking because I was in bed reading-

Nadege Souvenir:

No, I'm just going to stop you right there.

Melanie Hoffert:

Nadege-

Nadege Souvenir:

Absolutely not.

Melanie Hoffert:

Listen, what?

Nadege Souvenir:

That word does not mean that. Nothing about that word feels like idling in bed. That word feels like a jiggly dance or some weirdo walking down the street or, I don't know, some weird golf putt-putt thing that I don't know how to do.

Melanie Hoffert:

Nadege, do you know how well I know you?

Nadege Souvenir:

What?

Melanie Hoffert:

I was reading this. I'm like, "I'm going to ask Nadege about this and she's not going to like this word. She's not going to like hurkling-durkling or whatever it is.

Nadege Souvenir:

No. Oh God, no.

Melanie Hoffert:

See, I'm like, "She is not." But I hurkle-durkle in the morning.

Nadege Souvenir:

No.

Melanie Hoffert:

With my coffee and my books and my cats, we're all hurkle-durkling.

Nadege Souvenir:

No.

Melanie Hoffert:

I don't even know if I'm saying it right, but I love the concept. Let me just ask you this, do you ever have coffee in bed?

Nadege Souvenir:

Not really, but I'm not a huge coffee person. But I do lay in bed and will read or sometimes watch an episode of something or whatever. So the concept, I'm 100% behind.

Melanie Hoffert:

Okay, so you're not against the concept-

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah.

Melanie Hoffert:

... you're against the phrase.

Nadege Souvenir:

No, I just cannot marry the phrase. You cannot say to me, Nadege, you are hurkling, oh, no. I can't even barely get it out of my mouth. That's just ridiculous.

Melanie Hoffert:

It is. There's a lot of ridiculousness that we're going to probably talk about later. We're going to laugh with Sheletta.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah. We're probably going to laugh so hard we're going to cry. Should we tell her about the... No. We should not tell her about the hurkling.

Melanie Hoffert:

You're not going to let me.

Nadege Souvenir:

No. I'm not. We can't talk about it anymore.

Melanie Hoffert:

All right.

Nadege Souvenir:

But we can talk about Sheletta and how she makes us laugh.

Melanie Hoffert:

Let's do it.

Nadege Souvenir:

I So Appreciate You! is just one of the many initiatives we are working on at the Saint Paul & Minnesota Foundation. Want to learn more about how we work to create an equitable, just, and vibrant Minnesota? Join our email list by visiting us at spmcf.org/email. While you're there, make sure to check out our blog and follow us on social media.

Melanie Hoffert:

Hello everyone. We are back with our very special guest today, Sheletta Brundidge. So excited for this conversation, Sheletta. Before we get in to everything-

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes.

Melanie Hoffert:

We just want to give our listeners a little bit of your background, though I think a lot of people know who you are. So can I tick a couple things off?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes.

Melanie Hoffert:

All right, good. So you've really done it all. You are a mom, an autism advocate, a community activist, an award-winning broadcaster, bestselling author, which I love, and business owner.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Mm-hmm.

Melanie Hoffert:

You really can be found anywhere, including on the state's first black-owned podcast network, which you created-

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes.

Melanie Hoffert:

... Sheletta Makes Me Laugh. How about that?

Sheletta Brundidge:

I'm so excited.

Melanie Hoffert:

And I have one more thing that I just have to mention-

Sheletta Brundidge:

What?

Melanie Hoffert:

... because you and my fantastic co-host Nadege were both recipients of the Women in Business Award.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes.

Melanie Hoffert:

And two of my favorite speeches. But when you got up there, you fundamentally shifted the entire energy of that $700 a person crowd.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Baby, let me tell you something, they was wrong for them ticket prices. That's number one. Number two-

Melanie Hoffert:

Here we go.

Sheletta Brundidge:

... it went from a breakfast to a dinner because we was in there too long-

Nadege Souvenir:

We were in there a long time.

Sheletta Brundidge:

... and they honored way too many women. But I always wanted to be somebody who shifts atmosphere.

Melanie Hoffert:

You did.

Nadege Souvenir:

You did.

Sheletta Brundidge:

You know what I mean? Just somebody who when they come in the room, things have to change. And everybody don't like that.

Nadege Souvenir:

No. It was great.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Everybody don't like that. Everybody don't like that. And I don't care.

Melanie Hoffert:

Well, I will tell you, I wanted to meet you from that day forward, and here we are.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Come on, girl. Here we are. Come on.

Melanie Hoffert:

High five.

Nadege Souvenir:

High five. High five.

Sheletta Brundidge:

High five. High five.

Nadege Souvenir:

All right. Not like we need to get warmed up at all today-

Melanie Hoffert:

No.

Sheletta Brundidge:

No.

Nadege Souvenir:

... but-

Sheletta Brundidge:

We came on fire. It's menopause season. [inaudible 00:05:42] Jesus.

Melanie Hoffert:

Amen.

Nadege Souvenir:

But for folks-

Sheletta Brundidge:

I'm going to be naked by the time this is over, girl, taking off clothes.

Nadege Souvenir:

Man, that could be the whole episode right there. Let us be-

Melanie Hoffert:

Let's talk about that.

Nadege Souvenir:

Let's be very real. We could do a whole tangent [inaudible 00:05:56] correct. Correct. But we are going to start with three quick questions because our fans know and love that we start that way to get us warmed up. So here we go. Ready?

Sheletta Brundidge:

I'm ready.

Nadege Souvenir:

Okay.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Okay.

Nadege Souvenir:

Time machine or magic wand?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Oh, magic wand.

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh, like you were definitive.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yeah.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah. Okay.

Sheletta Brundidge:

I don't never want to be 20 again. 20 was dumb. 30 was uninformed. 40 was regretful. 50 is it. I'm like, ooh-

Nadege Souvenir:

I love it.

Sheletta Brundidge:

... yeah, I love it.

Nadege Souvenir:

I love it.

Sheletta Brundidge:

So I want a magic wand because I got some creditors I need to take care of. Time machine won't do that.

Nadege Souvenir:

Can you take my student loans with you?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Baby.

Nadege Souvenir:

All right, here we go. French fries or onion rings?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Onion rings.

Nadege Souvenir:

Okay. All right.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes. Have you heard, do you know McDonald's french fries are $4 for a medium fry? Yeah. $4.25 for a medium fry.

Melanie Hoffert:

No.

Nadege Souvenir:

I did not know that.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes. I just went to Harvey and bought a bag of potatoes. I was like, you know what, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Nadege Souvenir:

All right. Well, speaking of you just named a brand name. Brand name or generic?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Brand, always.

Nadege Souvenir:

Okay. Interesting.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Always, always. Never. If it's generic, I'm not even getting it.

Nadege Souvenir:

Really?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Really. Because I need to know who to sue if something go wrong. I need a brand name.

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh my God-

Sheletta Brundidge:

Who do the lawyers need to call?

Nadege Souvenir:

I had never thought about it from that perspective.

Melanie Hoffert:

I didn't either. I love that. I did not-

Nadege Souvenir:

I may be reconsidering my whole life fundamentally. As a former lawyer, I'm like, you know what-

Sheletta Brundidge:

That should have been your first rule.

Nadege Souvenir:

That's on it. I like to save a dollar when I can.

Melanie Hoffert:

I was going to say.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Okay. I like to sue when I can.

Melanie Hoffert:

Should we be worried about going forward here?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Very concerned. Very concerned.

Melanie Hoffert:

Oh, goodness. There's so much we could talk about today-

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yes.

Melanie Hoffert:

... Sheletta, obviously, but we wanted to start with just understanding a little bit about your authenticity journey because, as I ticked off in the intro, you do so many things. You've gone in so many directions. You're all over the place. And the one common thread that I think anyone who meets you or hears you or experiences you can identify that authenticity. So has that been something that you've had to work on over time or from the beginning were you able to just be yourself in situations?

Sheletta Brundidge:

As women, and we're in a room full of women, we are told to behave in a certain way.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yes, we are.

Sheletta Brundidge:

We've be told to look a certain way, that our weight should be a certain weight, that our hair, the earrings, the makeup, the mascara, the clothes, how our feet should look. I just left the nail shop because I thought my feet were ugly, so I better fix them if I want to find me a man because I'm back out here in these streets. So I don't think any of us started out being authentic because we all want to fit in. Who wants to be the outside at eight or 18 or 28? You want to fit in. And I don't think, especially as women that we understand the value of who really are until we are a little bit older and a little bit wiser.

I teach at the University of Minnesota in the Hubbard School of Journalism a podcasting class. And one of the courses we were coming up with podcast ideas. And so the guys in the class, they had the dumbest damn ideas, girl. They just had the craziest ideas, stuff I never... I was like, "Who's going to listen to that? Nobody wants to hear that." But they presented with confidence.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes.

Sheletta Brundidge:

They came up to the table with these dumb ideas and they were just so confident in what they had come up with. And the ladies had the best ideas, but they were so unsure of themselves. So we stopped the class. I was like, "We're done. We're not doing podcast anymore. We talking confidence."

Melanie Hoffert:

Oh, you did.

Nadege Souvenir:

You just switched that up.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Yeah, because I'm not a daily teacher. I come in like eight, 10, 12 times a semester. So I don't really have to like them. I don't have to pretend like I care anything about them. I'm here to help you get to your next level of greatness. So I don't have to be like a regular... I don't get your reviews. So if you go to the Dean and tell him you don't like me, it don't matter because I'm not really your real teacher. I'm filling in.

Nadege Souvenir:

You're like the guest star.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Right. I'm the guest star. I'm Tito Jackson. I'm going to come in the back and I'm going to play the guitar and the drums, and then we going to be out of here. But I talked to the ladies about being confident, about presenting, about making sure when you have ideas... I told this one girl, I said, "Baby, that's a million-dollar idea. You sitting on a million-dollar idea and you not only wanted to go last, you didn't want to tell us. I had to beg you for it. And then when you gave it to me, you were so unsure of it that I was already in a posture of this is about to be the dumbest thing I ever heard. And when it came out of your mouth, it was the best idea of the day."

And so the entire class wound up coming and galvanizing around her and supporting her and helping her build up this whole idea about podcasting and journaling. And we started talking about the different streams of income she could make with... You are sitting on a million dollars and you were too afraid to tell your classmates, your teacher, the guest teacher because women are not taught to be confident.

Nadege Souvenir:

So I have to ask then-

Sheletta Brundidge:

What girl?

Nadege Souvenir:

When did you teach yourself or how did you learn to be confident?

Sheletta Brundidge:

I don't think that I've arrived. I think that we are all works in progress and I have not arrived. One thing I stopped doing was caring what anybody thought, what anybody said. Because I realized that people who were saying the thing, right, it didn't matter a hill of beans, they weren't helping me anyway. It didn't matter anyway what they thought. And so I thought, "I'm just going to be me." Even when we go into the corporate world, because nobody starts out being an entrepreneur. These kids are coming out of college, because they got the internet, and they making millions of dollars. But we didn't start out entrepreneurs because we didn't have the internet. These young people got Google and they got Instagram and they could sell millions of books on Amazon based on their TikTok video. We didn't have that. So we had to start out in corporate. We had to start at the bottom in the mail room, overnights and weekends, and work our way up.

So we had to look a certain way, dress a certain way, have our hair a certain way, talk a certain way. So we had to code switch, especially for Black women. I can't go in there talking about, "Hey girl, hey." Hi, how are you? How's everything going? That's great. And then get in the car and be like, "Girl, I am exhausted. I've been talking like a white woman all day. This is exhausting. Girl, I need a drink or something. Girl, give me a cigarette or something." Because we could not be ourselves, not and be respected and promoted. And even if you found another woman and you tried to develop a sisterhood with her, it was almost like they were the people who warned you. I was like, "Hey sister, how you doing?" "Come here. Don't call me sister in front of the white people. Okay. They're going to think we're teaming up on them. So just call me by my name and then we can go to lunch or something and then we'll..." So these were good lessons that we were learning from these women in corporate America.

But that goes back to doing even more damage about being your authentic self and being who you are because you get all this training and you need it. Because I can't go around these men talking like this, dressing like this with my feet out. It's not going to happen. With a bald head and bold and Black and loud with a... No. I told somebody one day they called KSTP when I was working there and I answered the phone, "Hubbard Broadcasting, can I help you?" And they were like, "Hi, may I speak to Sheletta?" I was like, "Oh, hey girl. It's me." And they were like, "Oh my God. You didn't even sound like yourself." I said, "Mr. Hubbard does not pay me to be myself. He pays me to be a white woman. So when I answer this phone, I'm going to be the white woman that he pays me to be. And now that I know it's you, what's up? What you need?"

Nadege Souvenir:

That rings so true.

Sheletta Brundidge:

I know you can identify. That's it.

Nadege Souvenir:

My brother called me at work once and he was like, "Who was that who answered the phone?" Because it was my lawyer voice. It was like-

Sheletta Brundidge:

It's your lawyer voice,.

Nadege Souvenir:

... "Nadege Souvenir speaking."

Sheletta Brundidge:

Oh, of course. And then you sound like a husky voiced white man who's been smoking Marlboro cigarettes. Because I did it on the radio when I was at CCO. Here come the consultants because you're too Black, you're too loud. This is what people want to hear. And so I'm on the radio and I'm like, "Hi, welcome to CCO Radio. It's Sheletta Brundidge. The time is 8:05. The temperature is 72 degrees outside right now. And we're going to go to traffic and news in just a moment." And so my kids were listening and they were like, "Mama, there's a white man on your show. Are you coming on the radio because I thought you was going to give us a shout-out?" I said, "Baby, that's me. That's mama. What are you talking?" "No mama, that's not you." Girl, my kids didn't even know my voice. Now if anybody ought to know your voice, it's your damn kids, but they did not recognize me.

And that's when after about the eighth consultant, I said, "You know what, what you see is what you about to get from here on out. And if you don't like what you get and see, then you better get somebody else," because it's exhausting. Tell them, it's exhausting.

Nadege Souvenir:

It's exhausting.

Sheletta Brundidge:

It's damn exhausting, girl. And you have no energy left when you get home where your husband's waiting for you, where your kids are waiting for you, where the trash is waiting, the laundry's waiting, the dishes are waiting, the neighbors are waiting, your church is waiting, your community is waiting. You drain code switching. So we just going to show up how we is. Our hair going to be how it is. The skin's going to be what it is. We ain't going to put on all this makeup and stuff. It is not the Oscars every day. And so we just going to live our life.

And I think that when these big time companies see us being our authentic selves and see people gravitating to that, they got to fall in line. I remember Mary J. Blige said once, because they were trying to get Mary J. to cross over, right? Because Britney Spears was on, Christina Aguilera, and Mary J. Blige, and they were trying to get Mary J to look like them. And Mary J. said, "I'm not crossing over to them. I'm going to get them to cross over to me." And she just kept being ghetto fabulous. And she didn't apologize for it. And that gave women who look like me an opportunity to say, "You know what? They're going to cross over to me."

And so UnitedHealthcare, Target, General Mills, Comcast, Bremer Bank, Hy-Vee, they all sponsors on my podcast network. How's that? I didn't cross over to them. They crossed over to me. When they saw that every time I go out in community, four or 500 people show up based on two or three social media posts. They see that whenever we do something, it gets 10, 15, 30 million dollars worth of earned media every single time. They want in on that. So being your authentic self really pays out. You're not ever going get everything that you are worth if you are not being who you are. It's not going to happen.

Nadege Souvenir:

Well, that was a whole master class right there.

Melanie Hoffert:

No, I know.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Eat. Eat that. Where that knife and fork at? Come over here because you got to eat that.

Nadege Souvenir:

That was a whole-

Sheletta Brundidge:

You got to eat that.

Nadege Souvenir:

Y'all, are you listening?

Sheletta Brundidge:

You got to eat that, girl.

Nadege Souvenir:

Did you take notes?

Sheletta Brundidge:

Eat that. Eat that.

Melanie Hoffert:

I know. I really appreciate that because what you're talking about is that magnetism that comes when people show up. That's who they are. And I'll speak for myself, I'm sure everyone in this room has seen this, but in managing people for many, many years, I saw men come in, act a certain way, like they deserved it. And women come in, they're talking about all the many things that they've done wrong before they get to their accomplishments.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Oh my God.

Melanie Hoffert:

And so I think this just underscores too what we've talked about on the podcast-

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah. We have.

Melanie Hoffert:

... with all of these people that are showing up as their authentic self. So I love that you're underscoring that point.

Sheletta Brundidge:

And you know what we need to realize, especially as women, is that when we do show up, exactly what you just said, you get everything that you are trying to get being somebody else. Everything that you wanted to try to get, you going to get if you just show up being yourself. But it's so scary, y'all. For real. It's scary. This is a faith walk. And you say I'm doing everything all over the place, but really it's mission work. I like to say I'm a missionary. Everything that I do is mission work. Whether it is the autism children's books or the podcast or the activism or the speaking or the radio or whatever it is, it's all mission work. I'm on assignment to help people, whether it is a parent who has a child with autism who can't talk or a Black business owner who needs access to a legislator or somebody who needs some publicity to get the word out about their business. Whatever it is, it's mission work and I'm on assignment. And I don't take that assignment lightly.

Nadege Souvenir:

That's so powerful and important. You've mentioned your kids a couple of times.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes.

Nadege Souvenir:

And I want to ask a question here because I think, in this conversation we've been having about women and how they show up, sometimes women with kids, we minimize the fact of the kids and the family in how we present.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Baby.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yep.

Nadege Souvenir:

But for you, the kids are known. It's front and center. She is a mom is the first-

Sheletta Brundidge:

First thing. The first thing you said.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah, it's the first thing. And so I would love you to talk a little bit more about being so front and center about momhood, parenthood, your kids.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Because that's just life for us. For so long we had to hide our kids. I remember, I'm a broadcaster, this is my 24th year in news and broadcasting. I know I look young, huh girl? I know. I know.

I started working when I was 12. Okay. So this old school broadcaster, like we talked about women pulling you to the side trying to give you these lessons they learned the hard way, she said, "Don't ever say your kids are sick. Say your car broke down. Don't ever say you need to leave early because you got to go get your kid out of school or you got to go to something at the school. Tell them you got a doctor's appointment because you don't want them to judge you. Don't ever come to work and complain about something with your kids saying they have some kind of mental health issues or they're sickly or they have to be... Don't ever do that because you won't get that promotion. They will judge you." And she was not lying. She was not being dishonest.

But my kids' journey is a little bit different. So my husband and I had one child, and he was just the greatest kid. God fools you like that. The first one is always just the best one. They start walking at two months old. And they start reading at eight months old. And they could do equations, algebraic equations when they're like three hours old. So you're like, "Oh, this parenting thing, girl, this ain't nothing. What? Girl, I could have eight more these babies."

Nadege Souvenir:

See I had the opposite reaction. I only have one because of that. I was like, "I'm afraid."

Sheletta Brundidge:

Girl, so we were like, we wanted a big family. So we moved to Houston where my mother is. She just retired. My daddy had just retired. I got all my aunts and uncles and everybody in my family. And so we moved three miles from my mama's house. And I was like, "Okay, we going to go over here and live by my mama and she going to take care of these kids." And so we could just work and mama going to take care of the kids. And it was beautiful until we realized the kids had autism. So we were like, "Okay, these kids not looking at us. They are not talking. They are still in the Pamper. They don't eat they food, they just hold it and something is wrong. Something ain't right."

And so I went to a social worker in Houston, they got diagnosed. And I said, "Okay, so what do you have for the kids to help them get off the spectrum, to get them out of special education?" And they said, "There's nothing available until he turns 14 and we can put him in a group home." I said, "But he's four and early intervention is the key. So what do you have for my child?" And she said, "We don't have anything until he turns 14 because there's a 10-year wait list in Texas." And I was like, "Oh, damn. Okay." So we start calling around. Being in news, we moved to a bunch of different cities. So we start calling around to places we had lived before. And Minnesota had a 10-month wait list. So we brought the kids here to get therapy and they started getting better.

Well, I started sharing the story of my children to encourage other parents who have kids with autism. Because here's the problem, you get the diagnosis and then they send you home. And then what? Who do you call? Your friends with autistic kids. You have none. Where do you go to get support? And so I said, "You know what, I'm just going to share this whole journey with the world because if my kids are going through it, somebody else is going through it." And I remember I was like, "How, Lord, did you give me three autistic children? What is going on? I got married first, then had my kids. I go to church. I tithe. I got one cousin, she got one baby. He got four baby daddies and he don't got no autism. This is not fair, Jesus. What is going on here?"

And so I said, "You know what, I'm just going drink to death." So girl, I was drinking [inaudible 00:23:16] vodka like water. I was like, "I'm just going to take myself up out of here." But it's respectable if your kidneys fail and your liver or fail. So I'm just going to drink it all up. But I just really heard a mission from God. Remember I talked about this and being a missionary, said, get up, help your kids, and then go help somebody else's. That made me start sharing our story on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, wherever I am. Like, this child talked today. This child walked today. This child got out of a Pamper today. Until we got to the point where this child off tested the spectrum today. This child rode a bike today. This child talked back today and is now going to foster care. Those kind of situations. And people have followed these kids. And I'm telling you, people have moved from other parts of the country to Minnesota because they've seen the progress that my kids have made.

So that's why I talk about my kids because I didn't have anybody except for Holly Robinson Peete. Because a lot of parents are embarrassed. They don't want to talk about their special needs kid. They don't want to share that journey. And so you think you out here on the island all by yourself. And so I want to make it acceptable for other parents to connect and encourage each other.

Melanie Hoffert:

That's great. And I wanted to ask you about the books that you have written.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Okay. So I got surprise for y'all. I got a surprise for y'all. I'm not supposed to announce this. I just got clearance. I just got clearance. We got a brand new book out. April is Autism Awareness Month. So thank y'all for talking to me about autism. My son Andrew is going to be on Good Morning America, April 9th, to talk about his new book, Andrew Does His Dance Amazing.

Nadege Souvenir:

Amazing.

Sheletta Brundidge:

This is supposed to be my book. I was supposed to write this book, but he's 17. He's the one child that I have who does not have autism. And so I've written three books, each one about my kids, Cameron Goes to School, Daniel Finds His Voice. So it was time for me to write Andrew's books. Since 2020 I've written a book about my kids. Every year each kid gets his own book or her own book. And so I was like, "Okay, Andrew, it's time." And he was like, "No, I want to write my own book." And I was like, "You ain't got no money for no book. This ain't cheap. Boy, that's 10Gs. We are self-published. No, uh-uh. I'm not trusting you with $10,000. You done lost your mind."

And he said, "Mom, I want my book to be different. I want to start a conversation about normal developing kids who have autistic siblings."

Nadege Souvenir:

Wow.

Sheletta Brundidge:

He said, "Because while you were so focused on the kids who couldn't talk, y'all forgot about me." Because he could talk. He's the perfect kid. He's potty-trained at one-years-old. He was counting change and reading and doing his thing and riding his bike to school. So we were like, "You good. You sit over here and do your thing. We're going to worry about these other three kids who can't talk." And we were celebrating every milestone. We were loving on them. We were going to therapy and everything else. And Andrew was in the corner stealing credit cards and going to OnlyFans and all kind of crazy stuff because he crying out for attention.

All he wanted was mom and daddy to look at him. We ain't know that because we like, "You good. You don't need us. These babies need us. They are vulnerable. They are five, six, seven-years-old. They still in Pampers. Even if we try to potty-train them, they just going to stand there and pee on themselves. You going to the bathroom. You're bathing yourself. You can make your own food. You got your ramen. You good." The boy was raised on ramen, girl. He think ramen is a meal.

Nadege Souvenir:

It can be.

Sheletta Brundidge:

We cut up some Vienna sausages in there. So his book is coming out. We just sent it to the printer. And it's all about the moment that he went viral. He was outside shoveling snow and dancing, and I took a clip of it because he was really supposed to be shoveling snow so I go to work, and did not do that. He was too busy dancing. And so I put it on Twitter. It was 10 seconds. Michael Strahan from Good Morning America picked it up. We minding our own business, eating our oatmeal in our house. We look up, girl, Michael Strahan talking about play of the day from Cottage Grove, Minnesota, little Andrew Brundidge. I was like, "What? My baby." And so he finally felt seen. And so that was a turning point for him. And so the book is going to end with that. So of course the folks at Good Morning America want to bring him out and Strahan talk to him and all that stuff. I hope they let me go. Damn, I didn't even ask if I could go on. I don't know if they just-

Melanie Hoffert:

You got to go.

Sheletta Brundidge:

See.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes, you got to be on.

Sheletta Brundidge:

I know. Yeah. They ain't cutting me out. Mm-mm.

Nadege Souvenir:

He wouldn't even be there if it weren't for you.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Right. Mm-mm. No ma'am.

Melanie Hoffert:

I think once they meet you, they're going to pull you onto that set.

Sheletta Brundidge:

I would jump on that set. Security.

Melanie Hoffert:

You'll be hosting by the time-

Sheletta Brundidge:

I'll be right back after this.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yeah, exactly.

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh my goodness. There is bedlam. There is bedlam in the recording studio today, but it's the good kind of bedlam.

Melanie Hoffert:

It is the good kind.

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh my goodness. I feel like we could... Don't they do laugh therapy? It's like a thing. It's a whole situation.

Sheletta Brundidge:

You know they do. They do.

Nadege Souvenir:

So this is a little bit of a session for folks listening. So for those of you on your walk or maybe if you're doing the dishes, put the sharp objects down.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Please.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes. Yes. We don't-

Sheletta Brundidge:

We have a motto in our house. It's called happiness is a choice. No matter what happens in your life, you have to choose to be happy. We teach our kids that. We taught them that before they could talk. And so when bad things happen, we give them 60 seconds. Look, you got 60 seconds to cry this out. I'm going to recognize your hurt or your disgust or you being upset for 60 whole seconds. And then after that we're going back to being happy. Nobody can make you mad. Nobody can make you upset. Now their actions might cause you to have a reaction, but you got to get back to happy. You got to get back to happy.

Melanie Hoffert:

I'm channeling that.

Nadege Souvenir:

Right. I feel like that's just some work advice people should take, right?

Melanie Hoffert:

Absolutely. 60 seconds.

Nadege Souvenir:

So that email made you a little hot under the collar, you got 60 seconds.

Sheletta Brundidge:

You got 60 seconds, baby.

Nadege Souvenir:

I used to say that too. I don't not say it, but I feel like I haven't said it in a while. I used to say at the top of a check-in, if you need to come in and invent about something, you just need to say that. You need to declare it, like I'm about to let loose, and then you go and safe space. So if you're a swearer, if you're crier, you do whatever you need to do, then you finish it. And then I'll ask you, "Is that all you needed? Do we have an action item? What's next?" And sometimes all you need is that 60 seconds-

Melanie Hoffert:

Space.

Nadege Souvenir:

... two minutes, whatever it is, to just let it out of your system.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Everybody blood pressure come down up.

Melanie Hoffert:

Absolutely.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Uh-huh.

Nadege Souvenir:

The time has just flown by.

Sheletta Brundidge:

It has.

Nadege Souvenir:

Flown by.

Melanie Hoffert:

I know. I know.

Nadege Souvenir:

I want to wrap with, because we talked about being authentic and then you've talked about your kids and the work that you do, and so I'm just wondering, for those folks listening, do you have advice for people if they're thinking, okay, how do I not only... For some people, this might seem like a big lift. How do I not only show up as authentic, but also integrate my kids and my whole life in who I am? Do you have any-

Melanie Hoffert:

That's a great question.

Sheletta Brundidge:

You just do it. Stop overthinking it. Just do it. Just be real. I tell people all the time, they're like, well, I have a Facebook work page and I have a regular work page. People not buying your lipstick, they're buying your story. People are not coming to your restaurant, they coming to your story. People are not going to your salon, they're going to your story. And the more people know about your story, the better. People are like, every time you do something, it's a million people there. Every time you put something up on social, it goes viral. I could tell this about... It's 100,000 hits and all you did was... Because people know my story. Tell your story. I tell people all the time, "I will tell my story before you tell my business. There's nothing you can go out into this community and say about me that I haven't already told people." And there's no separation of church and state anymore. So the best thing you can do for your career, for your business, for yourself is just start telling your story. Tell it. Tell it. And then this is the good thing, if you tell it so good, other people going to start telling.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yep.

Sheletta Brundidge:

I walk in a room and I can hear people tell my story. "That's Sheletta. You know her?" "Uh-uh." "She got three kids with autism and two of them tested on the spectrum, but the other one not yet because COVID happened and they had to put therapists out the house. You know she got three books. She got one coming out in April for Autism Awareness. I heard she's going to Good Morning America." Uh-huh. "Oh, okay. I got to meet her." "Yeah, you go to her website, Shelettamakesmelaugh.com. She is so good. She was at this thing I spoke at," and I'm listening. But how did they hear that story? As women, we always wait for somebody else to tell our story. We wait for somebody else to celebrate us. We talked about this. Wait for somebody else to clap for us, right? We talked about this. Why are you waiting for somebody else to say something good about you? Why are you waiting for somebody else to tell your story?

Katherine Johnson waited 47 years for anybody at NASA to recognize her saving the Apollo 13 space mission. She was getting ready to go to her grave and check up out of here at 98 years old before she got the Presidential Medal of Freedom for something that she did 47 years earlier. If the movie Hidden Figures didn't come out, we may have never known. As much as we pray for girls and women to go into STEM, we may have never known about her accomplishments. Why didn't these men celebrate her in real time? Why didn't somebody put a statue up? Why didn't somebody put her name on a plaque on the wall? Why? Because they knew she wasn't going to do it. They knew she wasn't going to celebrate herself. So they figured, for what? It's no big deal. She just, what, she just did her job. And she kept doing her job with a spirit of excellence.

We have got to stand up when we do something good and let everybody know about it so that everybody else could keep celebrating us. I keep getting awards, girl. I keep winning stuff. I keep being on the cover of magazines. Why? Because I'm always letting you know how awesome I am. I'm not going to wait for somebody else to pat me on the back and say, "That's good." And it's not bragging. And I've talked to these guys and they're like, "You promote yourself so much." If I wait for you to do it, you may never do it. You may never do it.

Melanie Hoffert:

We listen to our episodes in editing, and then I'm usually done, but I think I'm going to take this one on a walk with me.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Go on a walk, girl.

Melanie Hoffert:

I'm going to take this in the future and listen again and again because I feel-

Nadege Souvenir:

There were two or three masterclasses here.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Girl, okay.

Melanie Hoffert:

Exactly. Exactly. I'm ready to get out there.

Nadege Souvenir:

So thank you. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes. Thank you, Sheletta. This has been a joy.

Sheletta Brundidge:

Enjoy. Well, I have to say thank y'all for creating a space. You know what I mean? People don't create space for other people. Y'all could just be in here talking to y'all selves, but y'all are creating space for women like me and people like me. So God bless y'all for creating a space. So many people have podcasts, but they don't have a platform. Y'all have created more than just a podcast. You've created a platform and that should be applauded.

Melanie Hoffert:

Wow.

Nadege Souvenir:

Well, thank you. On that note, thank you, Melanie. I appreciate you.

Melanie Hoffert:

Nadege, I appreciate you.

Nadege Souvenir:

And there we go.

That was a little bit of a rollercoaster, but in the very best way.

Melanie Hoffert:

I know my face hurts from smiling and laughing. She is amazing.

Nadege Souvenir:

There are just so many things to take from that. The happiness is a choice.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes.

Nadege Souvenir:

You got to celebrate yourself.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes.

Nadege Souvenir:

Right?

Melanie Hoffert:

You do.

Nadege Souvenir:

So Mel.

Melanie Hoffert:

Oh, yeah.

Nadege Souvenir:

You got to celebrate yourself.

Melanie Hoffert:

We do.

Nadege Souvenir:

So right now, celebrate yourself.

Melanie Hoffert:

Oh God, I'm starting to sweat. No, no, I don't... My hands feel nervous.

Nadege Souvenir:

No. Shake it all off. You get 10 seconds. Shake that off. And now Mel, why are you awesome?

Melanie Hoffert:

I'm awesome because I'm a kind person. I am creative. I'm a good writer. And I like animals. Oh, I'm a great boss. Nadege, well, our producer here who is on my team said it. It's really hard. It's hard. Okay. Point made Nadege.

Nadege Souvenir:

Indeed. I'm not answering the question.

Melanie Hoffert:

No, you absolutely are. You absolutely are. What are you going to say?

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh, I don't know.

Melanie Hoffert:

Why are you awesome?

Nadege Souvenir:

When she was talking about telling the story, I'm awesome because I went through a breast cancer experience and I told that story. And I shared it because people don't talk about it and you got to talk about it so that people know where the community is.

Melanie Hoffert:

You did. You were so brave.

Nadege Souvenir:

I don't know if I was brave.

Melanie Hoffert:

No, you absolutely-

Nadege Souvenir:

I did a thing.

Melanie Hoffert:

You did a thing. No. Yes, you-

Nadege Souvenir:

I'm also awesome because I'm a straight-up weirdo. I don't lean into that enough, but as serious as like, oh, you used to be a lawyer. You're the Chief Operating Officer. No, I'm a straight-up wackadoodle weirdo. And honestly, whether I do it intentionally or not, that shows up in how I am in my work, in whatever. Even when it feels formal, just wait for it. There's going to be just a little glimmer of weirdness and I think that's classic me.

Melanie Hoffert:

I love that. You know what I know about you, but-

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh God.

Melanie Hoffert:

... I've seen it just a little bit here and there more and more, your voices.

Nadege Souvenir:

Oh God. Okay, first of all, that's a whole situation that I don't think we have enough time for on this episode anymore.

Melanie Hoffert:

I'm owning you as an amazing weirdo with voices.

Nadege Souvenir:

Yes, I do. I do have voices and characters.

Melanie Hoffert:

Yes, the characters.

Nadege Souvenir:

When my daughter was a smaller human, they made many, many, many more appearances. I just think we should do that exercise. We are women leaders in a space and we work with and mentor and lead. When we think about how are ways that we can open up a space, I'm going to try to figure out how to open up a space by asking people to share why they're awesome.

Melanie Hoffert:

I love that you did that because we're nodding our heads with her, but in real time we are socialized to not-

Nadege Souvenir:

Yeah, we're socialized to not do it.

Melanie Hoffert:

... tell about ourselves. Yes. Appreciate that.

Nadege Souvenir:

That was so great.

Thank you for listening to I So Appreciate You! You can find us on Facebook at I So Appreciate You! Podcast and on Instagram @soappreciateyou.

Melanie Hoffert:

We'd also appreciate you taking a moment to write us a review. And if you like our show, be sure to follow I So Appreciate You! on Apple Podcast. Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening to us right now.

Nadege Souvenir:

Have a question or topic suggestion, email us at podcast@spmcf.org. Thank you for listening to I So Appreciate You!